Being financially comfortable can be a real asset to your dating life. For example, you can more readily afford to visit the best restaurants, and you can treat yourself to a great new outfit that makes you feel confident. However, there is always the danger that someone will try to use your bank balance to their advantage, looking for you to finance their desired lifestyle or help them with their debts. Here are eight major signs that you’re seeing someone who is mainly after your money.
1. They seemed more attracted to you after learning about your finances
If you’re seeing someone who didn’t seem very interested at first, consider when things changed. Is it possible that you became much more appealing when you revealed your high-flying career, your exciting new inheritance, or the money you won in a lottery? You should be especially concerned if these facts about your life came to light because your date was keen to ask about things like your yearly income, the kind of car you own, your savings and any dependents you have.
2. Sad tales about financial hardship
It can be tempting to feel protective of someone who seems genuinely stressed by their financial difficulties, especially if they tell a story that tugs at the heart strings. For example, maybe you’re seeing someone who lost everything in an ugly divorce or trusted the wrong person when making a business deal. However, sometimes such accounts are used to manipulate kindly souls into spending their hard-earned money. Eventually, someone who is after your money may even focus on how you have inhibited their success in some way, using your guilt to extra more cash. For example, they might claim they’d have had more job opportunities out of state but chose to stay because they wanted to be with you.
3. You are asked for “loans” that are never paid back
You might hear about how you’ll get the loaned money back next week or the week after, and yet find that it somehow never materializes. Someone who is using you for your cash might keep extending the “deadline” for repayment by small increments, leaving you thinking that another couple of weeks is no big deal in the grand scheme of things. If you wake up one morning and realize that these allegedly short-term loans were made months ago, it’s time to face the hard fact that you’re probably with someone who is using you for financial gain.
4. They want things they can’t afford
Does your date eagerly describe the designer clothing, fancy food and cutting edge electronics they want to buy and somehow end up asking you to pay for these things? If so, this person might be using you to attain a lifestyle that is otherwise inaccessible to them. You might also find yourself swept off your feet by grand suggestions of romantic trips, only to find you’re picking up the massive room service bill or taking responsibility for ensuring a first class flight.
5. “I’ve forgotten my wallet!”
Everyone forgets their wallet now and again, but someone who constantly claims to do so may be more attracted to your money than your sparkling personality. Be especially suspicious of dramatic displays of apparent remorse or shock, as these may be concealing a deliberate attempt to get you to pay for every date.
6. They no longer contribute
If you’re seeing someone who has mastered the art of using others, you might have been lured in by early financial contributions that suggested a balanced approach. For example, you might have split dinner checks and bought each other drinks. A real manipulator might even have paid for most things at first, trying to win you over with generous use of a credit card. However, alarm bells should ring if the person has slowly cut back on their financial contributions and is now paying next to nothing. If you’re hearing an endless stream of excuses for why they can’t contribute “this time,” you may have been duped.
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7. You get tricked into collecting expensive things
While it’s fine for your partner to ask you for favors now and again, monitor whether these favors inevitably involve you paying for expenses like groceries or dry cleaning. If someone is repeatedly telling you they don’t “have time” to pick up or buy necessary things, you might be the victim of a plan to take advantage of your wallet.
8. Their interest waxes and wanes depending on their needs
Finally, if you’re with a person who mainly cares about your money, you might notice that their interest cools off when you’re not needed. For example, if you’ve recently loaned this person money, paid for them to sign up for a course or helped them make a major purchase, they might be “too busy” to meet you for a few weeks (until they need something else). If your intuition tells you something isn’t right, take that gut feeling seriously.