Suddenly finding oneself on the edge of divorce involves a storm of emotions. Anger, frustration, confusion, betrayal, jealousy, hurt, and sadness all jumbled together at the very time one also has to make a critical decision on how to be legally represented in the process as well. No surprise, it’s really easy to make a bad mistake. And, unfortunately, there’s no tried and true path to finding a good divorce lawyer. Everyone’s case is a bit unique and different so that no two situations are served the same way by the same type of counsel. Add in the fact that the process is extremely technical and complicated, and it’s easy to feel lost.
However, it is possible to find a good divorce attorney with a bit of deep breath, some elbow grease, and patience. Here’s the first thing to remember; as shocking as the revelation that a divorce is going to happen to you may be, it doesn’t happen in the next 24 hours. So, while you may suddenly feel panicked about hiring an attorney immediately, there’s no such need. Yes, you might have found out for the first time by being served papers of the impending filing, but you have time to respond and hire the right expertise. So, with that moment of angst out of the way, here’s how to go about choosing a divorce attorney the right way.
Understand What Divorce is Supposed to Do
Lots of folks confuse divorce with a marriage breakup. In fact, the marriage likely fell apart months or years before. Instead, the legal divorce process is the formal separation of property, assets, income, and shared custody so that married individuals can go on about their lives separately again. Because of this fact, the attorneys involved can’t be seen as marriage counselors or life coaches. That simply isn’t their role. They are experts in navigating the legal process and securing as much of a marriage’s property and assets for their client as possible, period. As a result, don’t expect them to get caught up in the memory value of a photo set. They will focus more on securing for you the value of real estate, bank accounts, retirement benefits, stock accounts, and similar assets. That is their domain. The memories and emotions are yours.
Focus on Hiring an Attorney Familiar with Your Type of Case
Ideally, you want an attorney who has experience and practice managing a divorce case the way you want it to go. If you believe your divorce will be amicable and practical, just a technical exercise in sorting out the assets and property, then you will want a lawyer who has a good amount of time in handling agreements, drafting, contracting, and negotiating. If, on the other hand, you believe your divorce will be a battle and a drag-down, knock-out fight, then you’re going to want an attorney who will be versed in being a litigator. It makes a big difference in matching the right attorney to your case expectations.
Have Set Goals on the End Result
What do you want your divorce result to be? Do you just want to walk away from it all and get on with a new life without any connections? Are you expecting half of everything? Do you have attachments to key assets and property that have to stay with you? Everybody is different, so you need to spend some time thinking about the outcome you expect to have. While it won’t be perfect, and few get everything they want from a divorce, having goals gives you targets to achieve far more than going in blind. And that in turn helps you choose an attorney who has the skill and knowledge to get it as well.
Window Shop, A Lot
At a minimum, you should talk to three different divorce attorneys before making a selection. Never go with the first attorney you make contact with. Unfortunately, this is what most people do; they want to get on with the process but forget that choosing an attorney is one of the few big decisions they get to make in a divorce proceeding. Ideally, a good attorney matches your expectations and goals above; if not, or the lawyer seems to be steering you differently, move on. That’s the wrong match for you. It also helps to research attorneys before contacting them. Many have a robust amount of information on their performance available online. Remember, attorneys operate as a business, so they leave a track record which you should be aware of before hiring one. General references like the state bar, the Better Business Bureau, and legal review sites all provide helpful perspectives about a given attorney’s abilities. Even sites like Yelp! can be useful for reviews.
Good review hunting is also going to bring up some rotten eggs. They happen; less-than-stellar attorneys exist and they are out there. Doing your research can help avoid that mistake and frustration. Another giveaway is whether they stay focused on talking with you, on the phone, or in a meeting. If they are too busy looking at something else, imagine the attention they will give your case.
Finally, Pull the Trigger
Every great change only happens by taking a step forward. Take action and choose a divorce attorney. After you’ve done your research, found what you think is the closest to your expectations, then it’s time to decide and hire your counsel. From that point forward, the process takes off and you will realize how much an attorney runs the show legally and why carefully choosing one matters so much. And, when you’re done with the divorce, remember who did a good job for you. Others can use that reference for their critical decision-making too.
