Accepting friendship with your ex after being a lover can sometimes be very painful and tricky at the same time, so should you be friends with your ex in the real world or even on Facebook?!!
Just search the internet for the subject: staying friends with an ex and staying friends with an ex on Facebook, and you will find that there are many conflicting advice about the subject that confuse the normal person like you.
But do not worry. I will try to make it crystal clear for you, and show you the difference between staying friends with your ex in the real world and staying with an ex in the virtual world of social networks like Facebook.
Note: In this article, I assume that you have been dumped by your girl and the opposite.
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Should You Be Friends With Your Ex-Girlfriend/Wife On Facebook?
Well, It depends on your goal.
- If you do not care about her anymore: So it doesn’t make a difference to stay friends with her or not. This is when you do not consider her as a lover nor even a friend. She is just someone you know or someone you have met one day and you do not care about meeting them again or not.
- If you no longer want her in your life: when you should not be friends with her. This is when you are the one who ended the relationship and you do not even consider her as a friend. Another case is that some women are really dangerous after breakups. They may consider seeking revenge. In such a case, not only you should not be friends with her, but you should also cut all contact with her.
- In case you want her back: you must not be friends with her. Again, IF YOUR GOAL IS TO GET HER BACK THEN it’s a must not to stay friends with her. if you see this as counter intuitive or un logic, then do not worry, I will explain it later in this article, but for now and before proceeding a bit with that, I want to make things very clear about the word “remaining friends”.
How To Stay Friends with An Ex?
Lots of men think that it’s fine to stay friends with an ex because they will be close to her and so can convince her later to get back together. They think they will affect her that way. And in fact, they are right, they will affect her but in the exact opposite way. They will even repel the woman more and more. The only case that she will not be repelled is when she is using her man to get over him as i will tell you right now.
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I am sorry if it is disappointing, but actually you should never do it. You should never keep the contact and remain friends with her. By saying “remain friends” I mean: the case when you stay in contact with your ex as if you are friends. That’s why it is not strange that I strongly recommend staying friends with her on Facebook, because it does not actually require to keep contact with her.
Unlike the real world friendship, Facebook friendship does not mean you have to be real friends. It is exactly like when you both have the phone numbers of each other while you do not call each other. By remaining friends on Facebook, you can send her an indirect message by letting her see your status updates while in the same time you do not say a word and still not friends. You got the point?
You may be confused because I have told you not to be friends with her while I am confirming on being friends with her on Facebook. The key here is that you can remain friends with her on Facebook while you do not have to actually be friends with her (in the real world) or to keep the contact with her.
That said, if she asked to be friends with you, you can actually accept orally while in fact you do not treat her like a friend, for example, you can say “of course we can still be friends” while you do not call her or talk to her like friends do. I hope that you understand this point very well.
Why you should not be friends with your ex in the real world if your goal is to get her back?
You may think that it’s a good chance to stay friends with your ex because you will have a chance to be close to her and in that magical moment you may manage to convince her to get back together. This is simply wrong.Things do not work like this, and on the contrary, your ex will use your friendship to get over you a bit by bit.
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Let’s be realistic, she is not interested in you, otherwise why did she dump you in the first place? She just wants you to ease the pain of her breakup with you, but you know what? If the breakup is easy for her, so why do you think she has to get back to you. Just let her miss you, feel some pain and give her a reason to return back to you.
So to sum things :
- When you stay friends she will use you to help her get over you.
- By accepting her friendship, you demonstrate that you do not respect yourself and your desire enough to the extent that you sacrifice your own desires for hers. So if she wants you to be a lover, then okay, but if she wants you to be just a friend, then it is also okay!
- By staying friends with her, you miss the opportunity of letting her feel and experience some pain. In fact you do not even give her a reason to return back to you.
So, cut all contact in the real world friendship and stay friends with your ex on Facebook, and that’s of course if your goal is to get her back.