It’s undoubtedly more difficult to start dating a shy guy, as they are, by definition, less likely to engage in conversations with strangers. However, dating apps turned everything upside down. While meeting people online, it’s easier to get them to talk with you openly, but it may be quite different from real-life meetings.
Dating a shy man may have many advantages, as long as you approach him in the right way and accept him just the way he is. These tips are among several things I wish I knew before I started dating a shy guy with no understanding of his nature.
So, if you already browse through the best hookup apps and sites or prefer to approach men yourself, here are some tips for you in case you encounter a quiet, more introverted guy.
If he’s quiet, he’s probably not mad at you
Shy people have trouble talking about anything. They rarely speak if they are not asked about something, and it’s also the case when they are around people they trust and feel comfortable with. So if your partner sits quietly without going on about his day, don’t beat yourself up and don’t accuse him of being silently mad. Instead, ask how he is and how his day was; in most cases, you will get an elaborate, maybe even enthusiastic answer that will resolve all your doubts with the need to argue.
He’s a great listener but needs a boost to talk
It sounds nice to have someone who truly listens to you, right? Especially if you’re a naturally talkative person, a shy, quiet person may be a perfect choice. It’s a win-win situation – you will be able to talk, and he won’t be forced to keep the conversation going. He will never interrupt; if so, he’s sure to notice it immediately and probably apologize.
However, you need to remember that he may need a little boost from your side to share. After all, if you’re aiming for a healthy relationship, you don’t only have to be listened to, you need to learn to listen to him as well. And since he’s less prone to talk, you will probably have to encourage him a little bit, so don’t be afraid to ask questions.
Shy people don’t necessarily hate to talk, but they fear to speak to someone who doesn’t want to listen or is not interested; they are more likely to be modest and self-conscious. Make sure he knows that you’re always there to hear him out.
And since he’s such a great listener, he will get to know you very well. Shy, quiet people tend to observe others more closely, and you may be surprised when you hear his conclusions.
Silent moments don’t have to be awkward and uncomfortable
Even if you’re a chatterbox, you probably dream about moments when you can simply enjoy the silence. Can you imagine coming home after a long and hard day and feeling the pressure to talk? If you share your life with a quiet guy, you won’t ever be pressured to speak. Your shy boy can teach you to appreciate calm, silent moments. When you’re exhausted, it’s much better to cuddle on a couch and let your mind rest.
He’s probably much better at writing
People who don’t normally talk too much are usually great at expressing themselves in writing. You can count on some genuinely touching, elaborate texts with a shy guy, contrary to someone energized and talkative who will send a short OK or ILY.
Have you ever dreamed of receiving love letters? Well, there’s a big chance that your quiet, introverted beau will be more likely to agree to express his feelings this way than his more extraverted counterpart.
Shy people usually have a lot to say, but they need to think carefully about each word they decide to use. That’s why they’re not prone to speak in public, but they thrive over texts.
He will need more time to get comfortable with your family and friends
For shy people, each new person in their life is a big thing. If you have a distanced partner, you can’t flood him with new acquaintances. Take it step-by-step and give him some time. Don’t expect him to immediately get on well with everyone and become best friends with all of them during the very first meetings. Just like he needed time to open up to you, he will require it to feel comfortable around people who are important to you. You may arrange for him to meet your loved ones one by one, and don’t get angry if he doesn’t talk a lot at the beginning. Don’t jump to conclusions, assuming that he doesn’t like your father because he only sat there watching him closely.
Each person has a lot to offer in a relationship, but shy people need more encouragement to truly contribute. However, it may be worth it to give them some time to open up. If you happen to date a shy guy, make sure to ask questions, be interested in his feelings and opinions. And be patient.