A relationship can hit the dry patch where it seems like the spark is gone. After the honeymoon phase, real life begins to set back in. Everyday tasks dominate, making time is harder, and most people’s sex lives suffer.
This doesn’t have to be the fate of your relationship. You don’t have to allow that feeling of desiring your partner slip away with the mundane tasks of life. It’s possible to have more sex even after a sexual drought.
If you ever wondered how to be more sexual or how to get back to more frequent sex life, you’ll be happy to know that it’s not hard. It may take some work, but having better sex more often is completely within reach.
Stop Making Excuses
It’s the most common complaint about not having enough sex in a relationship: something always gets in the way of having sex. Too exhausted, no time, my partner annoys me, etc. All of these are just excuses when it comes to not having sex.
There may be some truth in these excuses.
With modern life, jobs, kids, and life can make you exhausted. A busy schedule may not leave much time. And when stress is high, and sex is low, little things about your partner might get on your nerves more.
While there is truth in these, they’re still excuses. These are factors you can work around with a little effort. Because the truth is, sex isn’t just physical; it’s mental too.
For good sex, you need to have passion and excitement toward your partner. And passion means letting go of the control that’s required of modern life. So you have to stop waiting until everything feels right to have sex.
You have to embrace the chaos of life and have sex despite it. Trying to control everything leads to the passion disappearing from the relationship. Stop making excuses and stop waiting for everything to be right.
Allow your passion not to have conditions.
Communicate Your Desire
A key component of passion is desire. You have to desire your partner, your partner has to desire you, and you both have to feel the desire from each other. But desire is not always obvious, so you have to make it known.
This doesn’t mean always being using explicit talk, but it does mean always being clear. Communicating your desire is what keeps the sexual relationship thriving. It lays the groundwork for a healthy sex life.
This communication shouldn’t always happen right before sex. That won’t create the desire or passion needed to improve your sex life. Instead, this communication needs to happen throughout the day, in mundane moments that may not lead to sex.
This communication can be verbal or nonverbal. Both are needed to communicate your desire effectively.
Verbal desire is easy to recognize. It’s the words that communicate how passionately you feel about them. Ranging from innocuous affirmations to sexually explicit desires all communicate that passion.
Start telling your partner how great they look that day or how much you appreciate the little things they do throughout the day. And tell your partner that you want to have sex or things you want to try. Verbally communicating will go a long way.
Ever hear of the couple that couldn’t keep their hands off each other? That’s how they nonverbally communicate their passion for each other. Nonverbal communication can be a powerful tool in a relationship.
Nonverbal communication is the touches, the looks, and the attitudes you show towards your partner. Throughout the day, reaching to hold your partner’s hand, giving them an admiring look, or showing that you’re happy with them communicates passion.
Touching in your partner’s hips, chest, or butt can also communicate your passion nonverbally. A healthy mix of innocent and sexual touches is best.
Make the Time
This may be easier said than done but make time in your day for each other. Life can get hectic, but in a relationship, you’re supposed to go through it together.
Making time doesn’t mean planning big extravagant dates and outings. Instead, it means consciously choosing to spend time together.
Spend your evenings on the couch after the kids have gone to bed to catch up on your favorite show. Or take a few minutes before going to sleep to discuss something unrelated to your everyday life.
When you make time for each other in everyday life, making time for sex comes naturally. You’ll realize just how much time you have in the day.
It’s understandable that not every day will lead to mindblowing sex. But making an effort to show your passion every day will go a long way to benefit the relationship.
Put in the Effort for Better Sex
Good sex shouldn’t feel like work, but you do have to put in work to have good sex. This means spicing up the relationship and getting away from a routine. Breakaway from your norm and try something new.
Take the time to learn about your partner and what they want. Connect with your own sexuality. Good sex may come naturally, but better sex needs to be nurtured.
Ideas for How to Have Better Sex
When your relationship starts to feel stale, it’s time to mix it up. Breaking from the normal routine and trying new things will make sex more exciting. When you keep the relationship interesting and don’t know what to expect, sex becomes exciting.
Change Location
Bed sex is out. Step away from the usual routine by taking it to new and exciting locations. The thrill of being in an unusual and atypical place will get your heart racing.
Get out of the bedroom and utilize everywhere else in your home. The kitchen counters, the living room floor, and the dining room table are all great places to start. Ramp it up by opening the curtains; a little risk can go a long way.
If you want to get out of the house altogether, it’s best to start slow. Start by getting a hotel room, then try your car parked somewhere secluded or in a tent while camping.
Remember to be careful. Because while the risk is fun, trouble with the law can put a damper on the mood.
Bathe Together
Every once in awhile, it may be fun to save water and bathe together. You don’t have to start out with sexual intentions. Instead, just bathe, wash each other, and enjoy the private moment.
This sensual act can lead to a screen-worthy scene and ultimately better sex. A romantic bath is a great way to set the mood for the rest of the night. You can even try finding new ways to spice up your shower sessions.
Make It Last Longer
Play the long game when it comes to sex. It doesn’t have to start with the act in bed. Play and tease your partner throughout the day. This will build anticipation and make the moment much more fun.
Lengthen sex by including more foreplay. Don’t just jump right into the act, spend some time, and make the before just as exciting as the main event. Get creative with your foreplay; find something that suits you and your partner.
Try some tricks to make sex last longer. Try focusing on your breathing, slowing down, or viril pills to extend and enhance the session.
Play a Game
A game can challenge you and add some playfulness into your relationship. Games can add some excitement, get your laughing, and lead to some great sex. The best part is that there are so many games out there; you’re bound to find one that works for you.
You can try a store-bought game. These games usually come in the form of board and card games and are relatively easy to pick up. All you need is the two of you and a little time to play.
If you’re adventurous, you can try making up your own games. Come up with rules and scenarios you and your partner have to abide by. You can set a prize for winning, but really you just enjoy yourselves.
Try Something New
Is there something you’ve wanted to try but never brought up to your partner? Now’s the time to do it. Something new can be anything you haven’t tried before, and you’re willing to do.
Whether the new thing is a fantasy, wearing lingerie, tricks you saw online, watching porn together, or anything else, that’s up to you. Just trying to break away from the routine is enough.
All you need is you and your partner and willingness to divert from your comfort zone. Not everything might be a winner, but you might find something you really enjoyed. And part of the fun of sex is exploring all the ways to have it.
Add Some Toys
Toys don’t mean that your sex life needs help. Rather, they’re a great opportunity to enhance your sex life. Experimenting with sex toys has many benefits for a relationship.
Sex toys can lead to more communication and improve intimacy by making it clear what you and your partner like. By focusing on the mutual pleasure aspect of sex, you’re sure to make it better.
Together, you can find toys that work for your relationship. Find ones that you like to use on each other and ones you can use together.
Explore Kink
What better way to spice things up in the bedroom than to explore the world of kink. BDSM has been a long been enjoyed by many, but it’s recently that it found itself in the mainstream. You don’t have to find yourself in a dungeon to borrow a few techniques.
Try a few things in and out of the bedroom. Play around with different relationship dynamics. Classics like handcuffs and ropes never fail to excite, but it could be fun to take it a step further.
Make sure you do your research on how to use kink safely and keep your skill level in mind. You don’t have to do what the experts do to get the results you want. A little kink can go a long way.
Sext All Day
Build the anticipation all day by sending risky messages to your partner. Start slow and innocuous by telling them how much you miss them or how great they looked before you left.
Ramp it up throughout the day, so by the time you’re about to come home; you’re using your most explicit words. You can even add some pictures for visual stimulation.
Incorporate Aftercare
Aftercare is common in the BDSM community. And like BDSM itself, this is becoming more popular in mainstream relationships. All aftercare means is taking the time to check in with your partner after sex.
This is a personalized routine that works differently with every couple. Cuddling, giving a glass a water, and words of affirmation are all common aftercare methods. Taking time to reflect on your sex is how you care for and improve your relationship.
Expert Tips on How To Be More Sexual Are Just the Beginning
Not every day in a relationship will end in bed shaking or life-changing sex. And not every day has to. But if your relationship is going through a dry spell where you haven’t had sex in months, that’s when it’s time to restart and revive the relationship.
These expert tips for how to be more sexual in a relationship can help get that feeling of brand new excitement that’s been missing. With a little work and conscious effort, you can change the fate of your relationship.
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