We have all heard it a million times before, opposites tend to attract. Think about your relationship, how are you opposite from your partner? Is one of you more extroverted and the other is more introverted? Is one of you a neat freak, while the other is messy?
Relationships that are composed of two opposite people can most certainly create some differences. When opposites attract, does the relationship last? Do opposites create doomed relationships; or are there more positive aspects behind polar opposite traits?
It’s Your Choice
It’s not all black and white, as relationships and love always create grey areas. It really comes down to you and your choices. The things that make you different can either create growth and understanding, or destroy your relationship.
It’s normal and perfectly healthy to prefer things a certain way, however you always have a choice. You can allow opposite characteristics to be seen in a negative perspective, trying to get your partner to be more like you; or you can learn from one another, helping each other morph into each other’s strengths.
When you choose to learn and grow together based off your differences, then you create a much stronger unit in comparison to yourself. The choice is yours. You can either make your partner feel as though they’re wrong, or you can create an incredible team. You need to meet each other in the middle.
Speak About Your Differences
You need to sit down with your partner and decide what your core opposite traits are. Then, you need to put together a strategy to make those traits work to your advantage. No matter how opposite you are, there will be some common ground. This common ground will be your anchor, as you work on the traits that differ.
Look at your list of opposite traits. Now, mark each trait in terms of its positive or negative effect on your relationship. Focus on those traits, seeing how they can better your relationship. Use each other’s strengths to your advantage, bettering your relationship as a whole. You need to create balance, because an imbalanced relationship can create tension.
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Focus on Perspective
There are many individuals that are the same person they were before marriage. At one point in time, you may have loved the fact that your partner was relaxed and laid back. However, you now view that same trait as lazy. The trait has not changed, it’s your perspective.
You need to reach out to your partner, offering assistance in areas where they show weakness. No one is perfect, not even you. It’s important that you are both open to slight changes. It’s all about having the right perspective, wanting each other to become more well-rounded. Your weaknesses may be your partner’s strengths, so use this to your advantage.
Instead of looking at each other’s weaknesses and allowing it to cause turmoil, think of those traits from a different perspective. Did you love that your partner was silly when you first met? Did they allow you to become more playful yourself? If that trait is now causing you to butt heads, then remember how you appreciated it. Think of how it positively influenced your own personal being.
If their silliness is stopping them from finding employment for example, then this is where you teach them how to be serious within certain situations. Does that mean that they need to change into a serious person? Not at all, it’s all about using each other’s strengths to move in a more positive direction.
Team Work Trumps Opposite Traits
Sure, opposite traits can cause negative effects. However, this is a choice that you make. Instead of fixating on how to change someone, focus on how you can learn from one another. When you have four eyes and ears, you’re twice as powerful.
You need to build a team that is strong, passionate, and understanding. Opposite traits do not need to repel one another. These traits can be used as the foundation to a stronger, more effective unit. When you agree on a partnership, you agree to love all of them, not just the traits that match yours. Learn from your partner, as they’re one of the best teachers you have.